Mad moai

A typical example of a monster, careful though, it's prepared to kill you, your friends, and EVERYTHING YOU LOVE

==Dragon quest IX, the green way! ==

Hello, and welcome to Green ed's handy dragen tips!

Though this manual is nowhere near finished, I'll ensure it will....

If someone even gets close to finding this site, I'll be the danmest, most happy man on this wiki!

So..lets get started shall we?



Current jobs: The Hexagon

Current accomplishments: The begining

Current state: kinda busy but will try to write!


The story

You start as a celestrian, wich is basically an angel who protects humans.Whenever you help out someone, you will collect Benevolessence, wich basically is SOLID gratification that an angel is watching over them. You are an apprentice celestrian, being tutored by the harshest but most awarding teacher, Aquila. You live on a place called the observatory, wich is were all celestrians live, up at the top is yggdrasil, the Grand tree, all celestrians must offer benevolessence to it, in doing so it will make the tree grow, once enough benevolessence is offered to the tree, it will grow fruits called fyggs, when it fully grows these fyggs it is said that a celestrial carriage will come and take all of the celestrians to the realm of the ALMIGHTY (AKA :god).

You, the hero of the story, guards a small village on the edge of a continental island (is that right? never mind), every day, your tutor, Aquilla takes you there and teaches you what to do in any occasion, collect benevolessence, and pretty much everything you need to do as a celestrian, wich is boring so we start right about the ending of the teaching of the hero of the story of the book wich doesn't let you look at all the pages at once cause that's bull (got carried away at this part lol) . You manage to collect a benevolessence with aquila, and offer it up to yggdrasil, (OMG ITS GONNA HAPPUN!) Aquilla and Apus the major of the observatory come with you to see such great and exciting moment...... aaaand Yggdrasil quietly says NO and flips his branch at you in the face because it can. The next day Aquilla decides to let you do it yourself because now you are (or should be) fully prepared for helping out the people of angel falls and collecting their benevolessence.[WORK BLOCK], and then, after collecting that benevollessence from that ridiquilously boring quest (wich isn't marked as a quest) wich im not going to talk about because its freaking unessecary and you can do it on your own because its SO simple, you offer it up to yggdrasil with again, the mayor and the harsh ass teacher at your side, yggdrasil grows the stuff and you go to the heaven with god and shit teacher, just kidding, but it is somewhat a spoiler, so read at your own pace you old coot!

-SPOILARS OMGS-__________________________________________________________________________________________

You offer the fygg to yggdrasil and everything turns to SHIT, the clouds get all cloudy and dark like they do whenever something bad happens in a game or a novel on the tvies, and then the dark thunders, and the tornado, and the shits, and the lies, and the cakes,EVERYTHING . In the end, a tornado takes you and bashes you into DEEP MORTALITY..... and then into the little lake that exists on Angel falls.

-SPOLAAAAAAAR ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-________________________________________________________________________

You wake up in the hous of the girl who found you, because obviously it was a quiet bash into the freaking lake wich is shallow. you wake up, realizing that your powers are gone as well as your wings (dammit!), meaning you're a damn HUMAN, and then, you meet the city's jerk, and mayor's son, and also jerk jr., before you even know them face to face, you know that jerky jerk has a crush on the inn keeper, Erinn, who's name is obvioulsy based on the word INN (I HATE NAME PUUUUUNS!), wich you could use to bully him, but you're not gonna do that, after talking with everyone on the village you go back to erinn's house and stay there for the night, but what kind of sleep is good without any DINNER? after waking up, the jerk's face is waiting for you, he talks you into going with him to the road to clear out a dirt avalanche that blocked up the road, so you head out with him now being in your party, after killing some slimes, weird spear-armer cucumbers, and flying fuzzy things that look like demons when they attack, you reach the avalanche, at the side is the "carriage that will take you to the almighty's realm" wich is called the Starflight Express, and the jerky's jerkness is called Ivor, though Ivor can't see the Starflight Express, he sees that the avalanche is really big, over the avalnche is a group of soilders, they say that they were sent by the king to clean up the avalanche, meaning you and ivor can go back, before you go, the soilders ask you if you know a girl named Patty, you say "NO I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THIS NAME"

so of you go to tell the mayor/Ivor's dad that the soilders are cleaning up the avalanche. Ivor's dad thinks that his son is a failure, wich may be true if you be hating on Ivor, so once the come back with the "news" Ivor's dad be like "watcha doin risking yo life like that man, you don't shiztle yo wiztle like that" so Ivor gets all sad and stuff and THE END for that story.


Erinn's tru form O.O

So, as the hero, it is very important that you know who this Patty is and what does she want, the soilders tell you that she was headed for angel falls a few days ago and that she never came back, so once the mayor has the hates on Ivor, you'll ask about Patty, once this happens, Erinn just HAPPENS to come in, she says that that was the girl who her father used to work with, and stuff.... so after the whole little unanimated cutscene, you'll head for the hexagon.

As a start, you should get some armor on the small shop on the eastern side of angel falls, once you've equiped the weak armor that angel falls provides you with, go to the Hexagon, it is a cave southern to the road that suffered the landslide, so yes, go THERE.Once you enter you'll realize that you're alone and wonder how to get people on your party, well never mind THAT, just keep on walking towards the hexagon, once you enter, and if you were one of those guys who likes to explore before advancing on the story, you'll know that there wasa statue on the west and that the door is SEALED, well now, there's a ghost in there who is just waiting for you to come, hell tell you some stuff and then you should head to the statue, he says theres a switch there, you click it and the door is Open! Now, once in you'll get your first example of a dungeon, I hope you listened to me earlier and bought that armor because there's some tougher monsters and a boss up ahead! after exploring the dungeon and reachig lost of rooms were you think the boss is, you'll find that...


BECAUSE QUEST EXIST! BECAUSE RPGs RELY ON CHANCE! BECAUSE THE WORLD LIIIIIVES!!!!!!!!!!! Frustration exists! And you'll be getting lots of it if you play rpgs such as this awesome game!

things like quests, bosses, and even trying to get random drops! are called (only on this blog as far as i know): FRUSTRATION MAGNETS

The image below represents the luck needed to get it all and loose it all on the same turn! Bosses tend to be the # 1 thing that makes gamers rage, wich is bad because its supposed to be fun not super frustrating, so in order to not fall into the lake of rage,

Idiot who tripped

And after only ten "egg ons", I finally got that state of super-high tension i need to k-DAMMIT!

one should:
  1. Do not skip story quests, you are NOT ready to kill bosses advanced in the story.
  2. If you enter a new village, you should get money and then buy the highest armor it sells.
  3. Quests will sometimes require you to get items wich you'll be able to get more advanced in the story, if you see one of these quests ignore them, explore, get the item, and THEN accept the quest, just so you don't have to do a double trip.
  4. Grottoes will always have tough bosses, that is if you're unexperienced, I would recomend to egg on your strongest player (except for the main character of course) to 100 and then make him attack
  5. If you want to be able to beat bosses quickly, search for metal monsters, they'll always give bountifuls of xp, OR, kill every monster you see.
  6. Do not rely on luck or critical hits, such as the knives, some of them will be instant kills if they hit critical, you can't rely on this, it will END you.
  7. Do class quests, they may seem hard sometimes but that doesn't mean you should stop trying.
  8. whenever you level up, you should use your ability points on the weapon you like using best, and the special section of abilities for the class (the lowest one).
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